It's been almost a year since my last post on my blog. I am in transition of a former life I once knew. My therapist told me to write and so I will do this for healing...
Abuse...It comes in many forms and from different people. Many times it comes from a person you love. Abuse can be very settle and sometimes very disturbing. As a child abuse can be learned to accept as a way a life. Patterns of shutting down and accepting abuse are learned early. I never really thought that for my self until I went into therapy. Anytime abuse came my way in my relationship I would be quiet and shut down. After coming out of an abusive relationship I often wondered did I mess up my life. When your in love you make bad choices that can affect your life in the future. I'm not ashamed to talk about my abuse. I'm not ashamed to say I learn to accept this behaviour as a child. I don't blame or point the finger at the abuser and I damn for sure don't say its my fault. No one deserves to be abused. Most women that get in abusive relationships never think their life would consist of punches or being verbally demeaned everyday. I received a lot of verbal abuse that at times can hurt way more than a hit. Verbal abuse can get in your mind and destroy you. When I write to you I hope it will help another person that may be in abusive relationship. I hope I can help the abuser that doesn't know how to stop hurting others. My transition has been one of the hardest things I ever experienced in my life. I lost a lot of people and things in my life. I know at the end of all of this I will gain my power back. You can give up your power to another person and fold up in a corner and die. I choose to live and never allow no one in my life to destroy me with fists or words. One great decision can diminish a million bad choices.
So Blaque Beauty Mama is back...and I have a story to tell.
Sincerely,
A woman in transition
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