Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My 2nd grade bully

Hey Mamas,
Don't ask me if I remember her name...I don't think I can tell you the first letter of her name. I do remember how she made me feel. I do remember her face and the nasty words of hate that came my way. She was my bully and for awhile she made 2ND grade a kiddie hell for me. In her eyes my hair was ugly, my voice was weird, and my clothes were the most hideous thing she ever seen. Secretly she would sit next to me at lunch and say cruel things and I would move away from her. I was shy from another state and I didn't want to cause trouble. I had in my head stay away from her as much as possible and she would leave me alone. I was used to name calling at a young age. White kids in Indiana would call you a nigger to your face and laugh about it.
So there I was 2ND grade in Baltimore getting called more names. Never thought I would be picked on and hated by a little girl that looked like me. One day she said so much and I held it in for so long I started to cry. She laughed and then I walked off towards my sisters. We were waiting for the buses to come. My older sister Courtney asked me why was I crying? I finally told her about my bully and she told me to point her out. Courtney walked up to her holding my hand. She asked my bully was she picking on me and my bully said no. I told her yes she was and Courtney told her if she messed with me again she would beat her up. My bully never messed with me again after that.
Tonight on the news I see all this bully awareness going on. Little kids wanting to commit suicide because of their bullies. What I learned from my own bully experience is a bully is insecure about them self. The sad thing is the person being bully doesn't see the weakness in the other person they only see it in themselves. After second grade I never had another bully because I decided in my mind I would always speak up for my self. At times I was scared to tell someone to stop being a butt head towards me because it was a boy but then a another lesson came. The lesson from boys being jerks around that age was because they liked me and were too childish to say it. In this day in age I see bullying in many forms. I have once watched my oldest son excluded by other little boys his age. What I saw from him is he always bounces back and knows he has his family. Thank God for my father and mother giving me plenty siblings. I never felt alone. Talk to your kids about bullying. I tell my sons you should never be a bully and I build their confidence enough to let them know no one should make them feel like their nothing. Now is the time to talk to our kids about this epidemic that has been around for decades.
-Peace & Many Blessings