Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Grass is Greener?

  After having some bad experiences with Cavalier telephone I decided to switch phone services. CLEAR won me over to move on after watching tons of their commercials. My thought was I was moving on to something better. While I waited for my phone to be switched over the Internet service was up with CLEAR.  I thought to myself wow the Internet runs faster with CLEAR. I was hooked and well pleased until my phone was fully switched over and the problem begun. My voice comes in muffled to others and sometimes my phone line is dropped in the middle of a conversation. Now I want to go back to Cavalier but I've came to far to go back. So in my mind I'll just stick it out with CLEAR. I will let them know my problems and hope the phone service gets better with time.

        You may be wondering why the hell is she talking about phone companies. If you really think about it we always have a "grass is greener" moment in life. Sometimes we may wonder if I chose her or him what would my life be like? If I went to this school would I be more successful like Kelly or John. If I was living her life I would be much happier. Life lessons surround us in the smallest matters but its only up to us to learn the lesson. So sure you might move on to someone better sometimes. Other times you can move on and experience someone way worse than the one before. The grass is greener logic is you think "I'm missing out on something better" or "I just want to experience something new".

      I don't think its wrong to try new things or experience new people(like a new set of friends..etc) but you have to weigh out the pros and cons. At the end of your decision if you hop over to the other side you have to deal with the choice you made. Life is full of choices and sometimes you might not know if your choosing the right one. So with decisions and hopping fences choose wisely and if its a bad hand suck it up and take it like a woman or man. TTYL...

Monday, October 25, 2010

Do you have Codependency?

I wanted to write this blog article after talking to a friend. Most people think codependency is the sharing of dependence. You think yes in my relationship we depend on each other. The truth is codependency is a person that likes someone to depend on them. A woman with codependency usually likes to be with a man that treats her horrible, he is very needy, and she does everything for him but never gets her needs fulfilled. She likes the fact that she is needed and may do this with other people in her life that are needy. Basically this woman loves the needy and wants to help out the victim.

    A man with codependency is pretty much the same. He likes a woman that depends on him that is very needy and weak. You may have watched the stories and remember certain male characters such as Ridge or Holden Snyder that loved to be "captain save a hoe". Most times these men would go for the victim. Holden would love when Lily was suicidal or ill. You may say well there is nothing wrong with wanting to help a needy person but a person with codependency usually looks for a person needy and unhealthy mentally. Their need to be needed makes them unhealthy.

  Lets say the needy person doesn't need help anymore...a codependent person will be angry or no longer want to deal with the person that is strong. A stable and strong minded person in a codependent person's life is a threat. Most people have a want to help others and there is nothing wrong with that. A mother and father know their children will depend on them and most times a child will be needy to their parents. As parents we teach our children to stand on their own and grow to be independent. A codependent person must accept they have a problem and find out why they want to be needed. I'm not a psychiatrist but I hope this may help someone that may have this problem. Sometimes we may wonder why do I deal with this person and they are so unhealthy for me. You may wonder why you go over board excessively to make sure this person is taken care of and never taking care of you.

Do you have codependency?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Eye & Brow Makeover: Why it can do wonders for the face...

    Sleepless in Baltimore this has been my nights for many weeks. I haven't felt like writing but finally was motivated after attending a spa day for my friend's birthday. My sleepless nights are causing my eyes to look tired and old. I have bags and dark circles...this combo is not  a girl's best friend. A spa day with my girls was at the top of my list. Mama was in need of a makeover and some TLC.

   I was blessed to sit in the chair of top makeup artist Aqueelah Williams. I have recently did a interview about her in an earlier blog...check it out. So back to my makeover miracle. I told my friend a million times I need a transformation on my eyes. I never really had eye brows and my brows grow in a certain way due to an accident that happened as a child. Aqueelah got to work on my brows. When she told me she wanted to shape my brows another way I was hesitant but willing to see the difference. I usually shape my brows in a way that gives me a skinny brow tail but I make up for that by filling in my thin areas. I looked in the mirror and saw Aqueelah gave me more eyebrows than before. I was amazed at the difference. My eyes were looking better already. After applying my makeup she applied single eye lashes on my lash line. She applies them much differently than the Asian women that use krazy glue on your eyes...lol. The lashes are guaranteed to last on your eyes for at least 1-2 weeks. I must say I love my new lashes that are still on as I type. When I came home later on I washed my face and saw a brand new person. My eyes are open and my brows are shaped to perfection. It wasn't just the makeup that made me look alive. A true makeover starts with the basics of a great foundation. Always remember take care of the eyes.The eyes are the main attraction of the face and the brows are a beautiful frame. If you live in the Baltimore and would like a brow & lash makeover by Aqueelah Williams...spend me an email (go 2 my contact page)...and I will give you her contact information. TTYL.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Forgiving...and moving on

Breathe in and breathe out...I close my eyes meditate and open.
Yeah, I'm ready to write...release... and move on.

The season has changed and so do many situations in life.Funny how many things remain the same but get worse with time. At times we will truly continue to go in circles never understanding the lesson God wants us to learn. When someone shows you hate repeatedly in your own vain mind you believe acting as cruel as them will solve the problems. I know I have resorted to the great anger cover up. You cover up true emotions with anger to hide how much pain you may feel. Its so easy to do wrong than right. So if another one close to you is hurtful the reaction is to hurt them back. After receiving wisdom and much needed understanding I know railing for railing wont solve anything. That's where forgiveness comes in to play. Forgiving someone even if they are the one hurting you or they dont deserve it. When you forgive you don't have to take on other people's negative energy...you move on and be you. Many times I have found my self taking on an other's character and only feeling worse in the end. If you can forgive, move on , and love it will feel so much better. We give over more power than we think to others and only realize it when someone else tells you "Dag ,why you let so and so take control of your feelings like that?". If someone hurts you, hates you, or just doesn't want to change you cant make that problem yours. I'm learning to put Christ first and move on from hate. I cant always look at others and say they are the cause of my misery or pain if I'm the one letting them get in. I choose to move on and look forward to better days.