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I wanted to write this blog article after talking to a friend. Most people think codependency is the sharing of dependence. You think yes in my relationship we depend on each other. The truth is codependency is a person that likes someone to depend on them. A woman with codependency usually likes to be with a man that treats her horrible, he is very needy, and she does everything for him but never gets her needs fulfilled. She likes the fact that she is needed and may do this with other people in her life that are needy. Basically this woman loves the needy and wants to help out the victim.
A man with codependency is pretty much the same. He likes a woman that depends on him that is very needy and weak. You may have watched the stories and remember certain male characters such as Ridge or Holden Snyder that loved to be "captain save a hoe". Most times these men would go for the victim. Holden would love when Lily was suicidal or ill. You may say well there is nothing wrong with wanting to help a needy person but a person with codependency usually looks for a person needy and unhealthy mentally. Their need to be needed makes them unhealthy.
Lets say the needy person doesn't need help anymore...a codependent person will be angry or no longer want to deal with the person that is strong. A stable and strong minded person in a codependent person's life is a threat. Most people have a want to help others and there is nothing wrong with that. A mother and father know their children will depend on them and most times a child will be needy to their parents. As parents we teach our children to stand on their own and grow to be independent. A codependent person must accept they have a problem and find out why they want to be needed. I'm not a psychiatrist but I hope this may help someone that may have this problem. Sometimes we may wonder why do I deal with this person and they are so unhealthy for me. You may wonder why you go over board excessively to make sure this person is taken care of and never taking care of you.