Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tough Love makes A Strong Woman
As I pass out the plates of spaghetti the boys wasted yesterday I watched their faces look shocked. I laugh in my head remembering my grandmother making my sisters and I sit at the table to eat our food. You would have to sit there all night until you ate all the food on your plate. We used to watch the Cosby show and my eyes would get heavy but I would try my hardest to pop them back open. My grandma would say if you tired go to bed because if you fall asleep I'm gonna beat you...lol. I thought she was so mean. Not too long ago the boys were watching a movie in the living room and Siyah was falling asleep. I told him you better not fall asleep down here. I can now understand that carrying a heavy sleeping child to bed isn't great fun. My grandma didn't feel like carrying a heavy child to bed but at the time I couldn't see it. She told me not to go across the street and play with a little strange boy but I did exactly what she told me not to do. It never crossed my mind I could get hit by a car, his parents could be bad people, or the little boy could hurt me. I was the cry baby out my sisters and many punishments and tough love came my way from my grandma. Never would I think her tough love would pay off and I would be the most like her. She had common sense that alot of black women don't use too much any more. Her hard love built strong women. My Grandma White wanted us to be the best and I believe she brought the best out of us. Right now she doesn't remember to much because she has Alzheimer's but she left me with so many memories and great life lessons. My grandmother's voice, her laugh, her hands, her scent, her smile, the way she would talk to my grandfather when she thought no one knew...these memories and love transcend through my mother, Keha, Courtney, Kristin, and me. Her legacy will never die because she built it in us through tough love she gave us priceless gifts. At one time I resented my grandmother but when the smoke clears things all make sense. Juanita White...I love you and I know you know this.
Tough love isn't meant to break a spirit but to build character.